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The Long Con

Sasquatch: Dad, can I have $20?

Dad: I gave you money this morning.

Squatch: Dad, that was yesterday.

Dad: Oh. Yeah. Wow. Summer, right?

Squatch: It's cool. You've been working a lot.

Dad: Yeah, thanks. . .wait a minute.

Squatch: Working on . . . on getting old.

Dad: Gimme a second (dials mom).

[My Attorney] What?

Squatch: EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS A LIE!

Dad: never mind (click).

Squatch: Ten bucks for trying?

Dad: Seriously?

Squatch: Five for bravery?

Dad: You've got balls, kid (hands him a fiver).

Squatch opens his wallet to put in the five bucks–it's full of money.

Dad: What the hell?!

Squatch: What?

Dad: How much money is that?

Squatch: A buck twenty.

Dad: WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME UP FOR CASH?

Squatch: I need it for lunch!

Dad: [cursing]

Squatch: Dad, I'm not spending MY money on food.

Dad: [cursing]

Squatch: I mean, you guys are my providers, right?

Dad: What the hell am I going to eat?

Squatch: (pulls a 20 out of his billfold) Here, buy yourself something nice.

Dad: [explodes]