Monday is Manday!

Ah, Manday. Nothing like it. Prop up your feet, grab a beer, and weld some stuff. What compliments a man better than high powered argon slag generators? A nice welding mask and some kick ass gloves. Just what I need for my very first Manday Feature:

THE BEER REPORT: Ah, beer. Here's to the genius that looked at a wheat field and thought, "I could drink that."

This weekend I was forced to consume the noble beverage for the sake of research for this blog (I do it for you, gentle reader), and in my concentrated efforts to secure the best possible hop for my dollar, I came across Chimay premium trappist monk beer. Beer made by monks. Men of God, doing God's work--what better indication could there be that beer is a gift from the Divine?

This beer cost $12.99 a bottle. I had seen it lurking there in the cooler next to the Porter and the Rasberry Beer and I'd looked at it and thought 'What a crappy label.'  Yeah, well, I'm a snob on many levels and graphic presentation is a sticker for me. But I'd read an article about Belgian beer and I'd had a nice Tremulens Nocturne once and a hacklebock in New Orleans that actually made hair grow on my fingernails--and I'd been writing all frikkin week (which is a lot like working, I swear) so I was in the mood for a really, really great beer. Chimay delivered.

If I were so inclined as to release them from their basement cages, you could ask my kids about my first sip of Chimay. They actually paused the DVR to watch me fade outinto beerphoia. I'm sitting down getting ready to watch the game (no, not the incredible Cubs victory, I missed that because I am stupid and I don't pay attention and I forgot they were playing St. Louis and I only found out



they'd won the division when I went to the carwash and they were playing the victory drunk at Wrigley on the courtesy TV. I am idiot. No, not that game. I'm talking about Sid Meire's Civilization Revolution on Xbox 360. Yes, I am that juvenile.) Wherein I lead Rome to reconquer the world and while my first city was generating warriors at a decent clip, I knocked back my first gulp of Chimay and lost touch with reality.

For what seemed like an endless moment, the perfect golden, dark brown, guilded flavor of this beer swirled around in my mouth and I swar to you, I am not making this up, I heard the voice of God as he leaned in close and said "Yeah, that's right, I made that beer."