It has come to the attention of my son, Squatch, that some of the content on this blog regarding himself is, to be diplomatic, a total ^%$#@! lie.
This came to his attention because one of his friends, we'll call him Freddy Mercury, Googled Squatch, discovered this blog, then read everything I've ever written, including the one where I tried to talk to Connor about sex.
To be clear: as a humorist, I often take broad liberty with reality for the purpose of entertaining my readers. If you are a friend of Sasquatch, and you've Googled his name and discovered this blog, please understand I'm telling tall tales here.
You may be outraged to know neither Slenderman, Paul Bunyan, nor Michael Jackson are real people. They are as mythical as Mickey Mouse and Paris Hilton. My stories rely on crazy exaggeration and an abject abnegation of the laws of physics, chemistry, social norms, truth, grammar, and all forms of reality, both real and imagined.
To be more clear, I type with my nose because I have to finger quote every word.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
ReplyDeleteNo animals were harmed in the production of this blog (verified by ASPCA).
"Any resemblance to persons living or dead should be plainly apparent to them and those who know them, especially if the author has been kind enough to have provided their real names and, in some cases, their phone numbers. All events described herein actually happened, though on occasion the author has taken certain, very small, liberties with chronology, because that is his right as an American." ~~~ Dave Eggers.
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