Annual Appeal to All the Ardent Advocates of this Author

It's simple. In order for me to continue to promote Death By Children at the level which currently allows me to write from the comfort of a luxurious sports yacht off the coast of the Maldives while eating fresh caught crab and drink Westvleteren 12 like it was water, I need your support. By support I don't mean money. You can't send fistfulls of money over the internet though so many of you try. No. I mean connectivity. I mean readership. I mean eyeballs.

So show your love, show your undying fealty to my withinering prose. Forward your favorite Death By Children column (you might want to drill down through the tabs at the top of the page) to all of your friends and family, all the people you work with, your neighbors, your ex-boyfriend the bass player for that one band, your kids in college, your old high school chums, and everyone you know on Facebook.

By spreading the word of Death By Children, you will assist your fellow man in their slow crawl up the evolutionary chain by igniting their poor, pitiful lizard mind with the dynamic, highly advanced verbiage you've become accustomed to here, you being such a literate, suave, ultra-hip cool person that you are.

Thank you;

Death.