Look, what can I say? I had a bunch of people over last night and we had really strong coffee at 8:30 and then about midnight I had a great idea and then I couldn't find that one pen I like and then it was 6:30 in the morning and I hadn't slept.
I had a meeting with a principal I'd never met, a guy with a reputation for piercing intelligence and a take-no-prisoners attitude and my eyes looked like ball gags.
I could barely walk, I could barely think, I could barely complain.
Yet everything went swimmingly except when I got hom I could not fall asleep.
I tried. I laid in bed. I murdered sheep. But no zees obtained.
Finally, around 10, I fell asleep. At 10:05, my yard guys landed their converted 747 on my front lawn. At 10: 30, I fell asleep again. At 11, the phone rang. I leapt out of bed and burrowed through the magazines and overdue bills to find the phone only to have a brief but (I am certain) memorable conversation with a salesperson. From 11:02 to 11:45 I discovered just how many slats of simulated wood are printed on the fake paneling over my bed. At 12:01 my wife called. At 12:45 my alarm went off. At 1:30 my other alarm went off. Between 1:31 and 4pm my phone rang 38 times, my Facebook chime dinged 14, and I was informed I have mail in an even dozen instances. At 5:45 my family collapsed on the kitchen floor with a note pinned to their carcasses demanding food. I served them the remainders of yesterday's repast. They were not impressed. I did dishes. I detailed the dogs. I argued with [my attorney] about the politics of sleepy time and finally, I went upstairs to fall into bed.
And here I am. 32 hours without sleep. Wide awake, poking people on Facebook and Stumbling through UFO websites.
[From Mary T. via email]
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to share a little of my Mommy life if you care to read.
This morning was the first day of school here. Our 4 yr. old Niko started Kindergarten—he is a preschool dropout from last year. He went 7 days last year and refused to go back after that. He was little so I let him stay home with me.
Angie our only daughter is 9. She started 4th grade.
Shane our 16 yr. old major pain in the ass Teenager started 10th. He is supposed to be in 11th but 6th grade gave him a hard time.
While out front waiting for the bus to pick up the younger two, Niko decides last minute that he wants me to flatten his new beloved Mohawk. Mind you he was the happiest 4 year old on earth yesterday when I let him get his hair cut like that.
Shane talked him out of it, told him he would get more ladies if he kept the Hawk! Ok that worked, he kept it.
Meantime Niko steps not once but twice in Dog Crap, with his new cool Dinosaur school sneakers on, ughhh! Go wipe your feet a million times in the grass; Lord only know where your other shoes are! Good thing it rained last night, grass was nice and wet very suitable for depooing shoes!
Next up our Blonde Reindeer bolts out the front door into traffic across the main drag. Great! I am in my jammies, no shoes and am now running into bright sunlight after Shiloh, this dog that I am still trying to determine why we had to have him on top of the 5 kids and 3 cats that we already had! Ok, caught the dog, drag him back across the street. Now that half the town has seen my new very cool Halloween sleep pants, and laughed at the crazy lady in them!
And hey it's almost 8 oclock, where the hell is that damn SCHOOL BUS!!!? Finally, it comes to take them away!! Yay!! I get my picture of them boarding and then turn to cry as another one of my babies begins his journey of working on walking out of my life!
Shane strolls down the drive to walk to his school, pen in pocket, no notebook as he says they never do anything on the first day anyhow, yeah right kid!
Yipee I can finally hit the bathroom and grab more coffee! I was up until 2am putting construction paper on Nikos shoe box he needed for school and making lunches etc...
After all that of course now the 2 yr. old twins are up Spencer and Sawyer. Our 4th and final kid came with a bonus, a twin! Lol! Every morning they create some type of disaster, this morning it was a half bag of animal crackers on the Bathroom floor. Dog was happy!
While they ate breakfast I went out to hose the dog poo off the front sidewalk, to save the mail man from his turn of the poo on the shoe game. I come back in only to find out I now too have poo on my fave Nike flip flops. I fricking quit!
Potty training this morning was an epic fail, 2 pairs of peed shorts. And there are also blankets to be washed because Niko who normally doesn't pee in the night peed! Yay me!
So my flip flop will join my other fav Adidas one that got poo on it in July that I still haven't cleaned off it in the carport! It's time for sneakers now anyhow right!
Today I will make a full big chicken dinner and some cookies maybe. And I have a nice chore in store for the teen when he gets home. Clean the @$%#%^$^&% Dog Shit up out of the yard, OR ELSE!!!
Sorry it was long but I had to share with someone, thought maybe you could appreciate my drama, it never ends here I swear! I will write again if you want to hear. Have a Great Day! Mary
Ain't Parenthood Wonderful ?? This is the reason why the Egyptians invented Beer >: )
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